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How to describe someone who's...uh...you know...

~ A few box cars short of a full trainload.
~ A few bricks shy of a load.
~ A few clowns short of a circus.
~ A few feathers short of a whole duck.
~ A few fish short of a limit.
~ A few fries short of a happy meal.
~ A few hairs short of a wig.
~ A few peas short of a casserole.
~ A few pickles short of a full barrel.
~ A few Pinata's short of a fiesta.
~ A few puppies short of a litter.
~ A few sandwiches short of a picnic.
~ A few skeeters short of a swarm.
~ A few Skittles short of a fun size bag.
~ A photographic memory, but has the lens cover on.
~ A primary choice for natural deselection.
~ A rooster trying to lay eggs.
~ A titanic intellect in a world full of icebergs.
~ All the dots don't connect.
~ An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
~ As dumb as three mice.
~ As smart as bait.
~ Big like ox; smart like tractor.
~ Body by Fisher; brains by Mattel.
~ Both oars in the water, but on the same side of the boat.
~ Bright as a burnt out bulb.
~ Butter slipped off the noodles.
~ Chimney's clogged.
~ Copy machine's on, but the toner's empty.
~ Couldn't pour water from a boot even if the instructions were written on the heel.
~ Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
~ Didn't have a dysfunctional family until he was born.
~ Doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box.
~ Doesn't have two wits to bat together.
~ Driveway doesn't go all the way to the road.
~ Dumb as a box of rocks.
~ Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.
~ Fell out of the family tree
~ Forgot to pay his brain bill.
~ Forgot to use a surge protector.
~ Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
~ Goalie for the state dart team.
~ Half bubble off level.
~ He doesn't have his oars in the water and worse than that he's in the wrong lake.
~ He shook the family tree and all the fruits and nuts hit his head.
~ His bologna doesn't have a last name.
~ His sewing machine's out of thread.
~ If brains were gasoline, he wouldn't have enough to run a ant's motorcycle around the inside of a Cheerio.
~ If she had another brain, it would be lonely.
~ If we put his brain on the sharp edge of a razor blade, it would look like a pea rolling down the middle of a six lane highway.
~ In the crankcase of life, he was born 2 quarts low.
~ It would take three of him to make a half-wit.
~ Knitting with only one needle.
~ Lights are on, nobody's home.
~ Missing a hard-drive.
~ Nice toy--no batteries.
~ Not firing on all cylinders.
~ Not just up the creek, the water's all dried up.
~ Not the brightest bulb on the tree.
~ Not the greenest cucumber in the field.
~ Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
~ Not the sharpest pencil in the box.
~ Not the sharpest tool in the shed.
~ One can short of a case.
~ One Easter egg short of a basket.
~ One electron short of an octet.
~ One flower short of a bouquet.
~ One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl.
~ One taco short of a combination plate.
~ One tire short of a Goodyear.
~ Room temperature IQ.
~ Rowing around the lake with one oar.
~ Since what you don't know can't hurt you, he's practically invulnerable.
~ Sharp as a bowling ball.
~ Sharp as a bubble.
~ Shirt size: large. Cap size: small.
~ Slinky's kinked.
~ Smart as a box of rocks.
~ So dumb he thinks the Mexican border pays rent.
~ Suffering from CDD; Clue Deficit Disorder.
~ Surfing in Nebraska.
~ The cheese slid off his cracker.
~ The dip stick doesn't reach the oil.
~ The engine's on, but it's not in gear.
~ The horse is running but the rider's dead.
~ The mental agility of a used soap dish.
~ The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead.
~ Three dots short of an ink-blot test.
~ Three feathers short of being fluffy.
~ Too much yardage between the goal posts.
~ Two cards short of a full deck.
~ When the Lord said "Come forth and get brains," he came fifth.
~ When they were handing out brains, he must have heard "trains," and well, he ordered a boxcar.

And from a DownUnder reader:

~ Kangaroos loose in the top paddock (hopping around all over the place)
~ A sausage short of a barbie (barbeque or bbq?)

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Mikey's Thot for the Day:
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on suitcases?

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